It's excruciating.
I'll be honest when I say I'm sort of a control freak. So to not know when this baby will make an appearance is seriously agonizing. I'm a planner by nature, so not knowing is putting a kink in my plans. Now, I knew what I was signing up for when I got pregnant, but there are some parts of my personality that I can just not control!
As of today, I have 13 days until my due date of December 12th. I'm honestly hoping that I don't make it that long, but the likelihood of that happening, since I'm a first time mom, is very good. I may even go beyond that, even with the progress I've made already.
While I'm hoping he arrives soon, a little part of me hopes that he waits until December 12th and beyond.
Why?
Because like anyone else (I'm sure) that's about to become a parent for the first time:
I'm scared. I'm anxious. I'm beyond nervous.
I've read the books, taken the classes, done my new parental research duties... yet I still feel completely unprepared. I mean, you can do all the reading in the world, but the real life experience is never like the books. "Every baby is different" they say. I'm sure that's true. Every situation is unique.
At this point I'm trying to look at it as a "learn as you go" experience. As easy as it is to type that out and say it in my mind, actually executing that plan I'm sure will be entirely different.
My husband and I are bringing a little human into this world. Someone that we are fully responsible for. Someone that we need to raise to become a good person and a successful adult. No pressure, right?
People have told me that no one really knows what they're doing when they have their first child. Everyone does things differently and everyone makes mistakes. I hope that's true, but I also hope that we make the right decisions to help our child be the best person that he can be.
I'm nervous. I'm anxious. I'm ready for the challenge, even though I can't plan out every detail that I want to.
5 comments:
The waiting at the end is really the hardest! I'm sure with the progress you've made you'll go sooner than you think!
Don't stress:) You'll be a wonderful mommy and so much comes naturally!
I'm completely with you. With 19 days to go, I vacillate between being highly excited to meet my baby girl and absolutely terrified of what life will be like once she's finally here.
As parents, we obviously play THE pivotal role in shaping our the lives of our children. I've been watching my sister parent for 11 years, and without devaluing her role, I do think it's kind of a "learn as you go" experience. You'll make the best choices you can given your resources and that will be okay!
Great post! Really puts things into perspective!
I am right there with you girl! Hopefully our little men won't keep us waiting to too long :)
Thanks ladies. It's great to know that there are people out there that share the same feelings!
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